Day 7:

There are some days you just can't. Today is one of those days.

Day 8:

Does one who hasn't accomplished their goals deserve to relax? Does a person who has aspirations bigger than there current situation deserve some hours to spend time with people they love? I have read lots of "articles" on social media that claim truly successful people never take time off, never take vacations, never take a moment for themselves... Is this true? Is it possible that one can't be successful if they don't devote every waking second to their day?

For most of my early adulthood, I felt guilty. I have always pushed myself hard: sometimes to the breaking point. I'm from an area where self reliance and work ethic are prized traits. These traits make or break a new person to the area and with the first impression, the locals know. They can just tell. It's like a sixth sense for hardworking folks. I must admit, this has become another pet peeve but that's not what this blog is about. My point is I have spent far too much time in the past decade comparing myself to my heroes and feeling like a failure. Feeling like my "success" is never going to be a great as my heroes because the timelines don't match up.

It all comes down to my definition of success. In the last year, I had a revelation. Instead of wasting time, which I have decided feeling like a failure is, I have taken those feelings as an indicator that I'm tired, and need a break. It might not be the status quo and it might just be me justifying inherent laziness, however, I have never been happier or more productive. A lot of that has to do with my amazing wife who is a constant inspiration.

Frankly, I don't know what the future holds and I can't even begin to guess but what I know right here and right now is I'm going to keep following dreams and keep doing things that make me feel like a success. One of the best, is being married and succeeding as a husband, a cat father and a friend. 

When ever I feel down

I just look at where I'm from 

and am proud of where I came from and how far that I have come.

I mean look at this!

Actually, it's this.

To this!

And this!

And all the wonderful people I've met in my twenties!

My proudest discovery of my twenties has been the Buhhdist principle of balance. It fuels my happiness and keeps my "artist angst" in check. I hope that in my thirties I get even better at it!

Day 9:

Today's events were fairly slow compared to my previous days. I had the day almost entirely off except for a shift at the Public and a previous engagement. The Public is always fun even though it involves dealing with the public (for future reference: whenever I am referring to the theater, it will be capitalized; the general public as in groups of people, lowercase).  The appointment was for my wife and I to upgrade to the latest iPhone!

That's something I never thought I would be happy about! Ten years ago, it wasn't even possible. I mean think about it. What were you doing in 2006? I was still using a desktop computer exclusively, had a massive movie collection that was continuously updated through bargain bins, burned all of my MP3 files to CD, had a separate calculator, took notes on paper, and texted but with the numeric system! 

How far we've come! I mean ten years ago I couldn't conceive of needing the piece of conglomerated technology that I'm writing this blog on right now! One thing is for certain, having iPhones when we moved to this city saved our poor little small town lives! Hotel wifi needed payment, coffee shops and fast food places had it, but no where to plug in (my laptop was already dying a slow death)  and we had to find a place to live and stay connected with our jobs!

It's impressive what one can do on these devices and how many items they replace! I still can't entirely except that all of the content for my show @retailsongcycle has been created on iPhones.

I guess what tonight's post has really been about is how quickly things become common, everyday, and are taken for granted. Ten years ago, this was impossible! Even a year ago, some of this technology didn't exist. In my lifetime, a decade has become a technological eon. 

I'm already used to the bigger screen and wider keyboard.

Also I can do this! It's the little things.

Day 10:

It has been another really long day.  Today was my Friday however and I couldn't be more grateful.  I'm currently sitting in the dark eating leftover Thai food and listening to the distant sounds of crappy party music, Food Network, and my lovely wives peaceful sleep breathing.  I spent most of today away from her and I hate that.  I am however glad she seems to be sleeping well.

I worked another triple today.  It started off alright, we were preparing for a normal corporate visit, which is an awful lot like Mel Brook's Governor character in Blazing Saddles, "We have to protect our phony-bologna jobs, gentlemen! We have to do something about this immediately; immediately!". The phenomenon is something I've grown used to and can prepare for.  Essentially we have to make it seem like everyone is doing their jobs well all of the time, even when that isn't the case.  However, my team was thrown a curve ball today.

Those of us in merchandising at a certain unnamed mega corporation are submitted to monthly auditing (read as pop quiz) to ensure that or jobs are being done thoughtfully and maintained.  Today our auditor showed up at the same time as the corporate walk.  This was to much for the upper management team and they went into panic mode, a very common maneuver in their oeuvre of working habits. I ended up working for two and a half hours on a project, only to have to rip it down right afterwards: destroying all of my effort and essentially wasting my time.

That is the purpose of today's blog readers.  My beloved family is planning a party for my birthday and somehow it came up that all of our individual pet peeves should be celebrated by everyone at the party.  I have in my late twenties, narrowed down my personal pet peeves to just two major distinct, succinct causes, but those will be revealed closer to my birthday.  Today I will focus on one of the outskirt peeves that comes from both sources:  wasting my time.

I try every single day to not have a moment wasted.  I read and write on the train, I use monotonous tasks to create in my mind or sing songs to keep my voice in shape, I am always thinking about something as a precaution to avoid wasting my time.  I guess the moral of the story is I do everything in my power to make sure my time is spent doing something that I find productive.  I hate do overs (not mistakes or experiments) when in a context of miscommunication; when all of the struggles and work could have been avoided if people would've spoken to each other.  This is very common.  I am irritated far more than I should be.

Am I wrong?  Am I completely out of line?  I always try to complete something if I say I'm going to complete it, even if it can be time consuming or tedious.  Don't make me do it twice...I won't be happy.  Are you curious what the headliner pet peeves are?

I guess you'll just have to stay tuned (dated myself there....eesh) to see!

Day 11:

Time for another confession. Today's list was going to be my favorite shows that I've seen in my twenties. They all happened in New York. Then I was going to narrow it to New York shows and I realized that all of them have been at a specific theater...my theater. I don't know if I'm suffering from a familiar bias, if it's because I feel personally involved being in the room where it happened, because I've seen them all multiple times, or if it's because they are genuinely that great (I hope it's the last one)!

The other issue, I can't actually assign values and position the shows numerically. They all mean so much to me and touch me in different ways every single time (all the feels) and therefore I can't "pick a winner".

So here are the five shows in no particular order:

Hamilton

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=deApjIhhhC4

Fun Home

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmg1wsRYt8w

Here Lies Love

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aYm5Gs3TCtY

The Good Person of Szechwan

https://vimeo.com/90679313

The Apple Family Plays

https://vimeo.com/80308708

Runner Up

First Daughter Suite

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FfEOQxhrY4g

The videos don't do them justice but it gives you a taste of what was and is! These pieces have changed my life personally and professionally and someday I hope to do the same. If you're more curious about any of the shows, I will gladly go into detailed discussion with you.

There have also been a show or two that I HATED! But that has no place here!

  

Day 12:

Day 12:

Today was a long day: it was my first triple in a long time and I'm exhausted. So I'll keep it brief and focus on some more joy that I've found in my twenties.

Today's Top Five List is-

My Top Five Favorite Foods I Didn't Try Until My Twenties:

5. Sushi

I'm not going to lie, as a child if you would have told me that I would love eating raw fish, I probably would've gotten sick. I had a weak stomach and couldn't handle the thought. When I finally tried it however at the age of twenty-one and somewhat ironically in the middle of Montana, I loved it!

4. Calamari

It was a very unilateral story for these little guys as well. Now I go out of my way to try dishes that contain this succulent ingredient!

3. Chicago Style Hotdogs

I have a kind of cool mutation in my family. We "suffer" from what is called Super Taster Syndrome where for some reason our taste buds are four times more sense than the average human. As a result, I had to train my palette to be able to process multiple flavors at once and for a long time, couldn't handle things like ketchup, mustard and pickles together on a burger. I could do each of them one at a time, but not together. When I finally had worked my mouth into adulthood as well, this flavor profile was legendary and Its now my preferred method of consuming hotdogs! 

2. Cannoli

Sweet mother of goodness! Don't even read any further, just run out and get one right now!!!!

1. New York Style Pizza

This may seem silly because everyone loves pizza, and I did and do but let me tell you, all those earlier feelings were nothing compared to that first time that I took a bite of New York Pizza! I was always a pan crust kind of guy and where I'm from, most of the establishments that serve pizza are chains. Now I'm a complete and total convert to the slice you have to fold in half to eat, in fact I eat it far more than I should. But hey, joy is joy right? And should be cultivated.

-There were some very close runner ups and not surprisingly, most of them have to do with NYC. This town will change anyone's culinary prowess for the better. 

-I should also note that after my tongue got used to processing punches of flavor, I became very adventurous in food and still am to this day. That is something I am very proud that as well. After all, going from a child who preferred his burgers plain and on a plain bun with no condiments, to an adult who will try anything and can appreciate almost everything he's ever eaten is an accomplishment of note.

Day 13:

Day 13:

A list of my top five favorite projects in my 20s-

Here's a bit of a preface, if you haven't gathered from reading, or by knowing me, I'm a busy guy. I confessed the other day how much I love being busy, that pared with my inherent verbosity in most written occasions can make for some very long posts. With these lists I'm attempting minimalism; but please don't discount the amount of thought that went into the decisions. I have loved almost everything I have ever done creatively, this was a tough list to make.

5: MAT Cabaret:

There were some great moments and some terrible ones but the Topsy Turvey Cabaret in February of 2009 was something I will always remember. We sang songs and wore clothes for the opposite gender while maintaining all of the traditions we developed. There was something really special about that run. This was also the most hats I've ever worn as a practitioner of theater and I'm still alive!

4: Guys and Dolls II:

I actually performed this show twice in my twenties (the first time will be on a different, much darker list {in fact it might even warrant a post of its own}). The second performance was my first major role in Missoula and it was tough. I stepped out of my comfort zone, out of the music department, our of my Fach, and stepped on some toes along the way. All of those things scared me to death. Turns out I could hit the notes, fit right in in the department, and win people back over, even if I stepped on important appendages. I made some lifelong friends and was recognized for the first time in my twenties, on talent alone. My one regret is that the night a cast member 's family filmed the show (illegally), it was closing night, I had developed a sinus infection. It was so severe that the next day, the infection came out my eyes! So of course that's the video on YouTube...I don't sound too bad, but still (insert awkward pretentious singer babbling here)!

3: Crazy For You:

I don't remember much of this show. The whole thing is a blur. It took place right after my dad passed away. I'm truly grateful for the healing and distraction it allowed and am still amazed I got through it. I am truly proud of the work I did. One thing I do remember, one particular night our elevator with all of our costumes and tap shoes got stuck between floors. Something had, thank God, told me to grab my shoes (something I had never done before) and take them with me. The result, I was one of two people making tap sounds in the show. We got through it! Unfortunately for me, I was so stressed that I did the choreography backwards (I still made every single sound though!) also unfortunately for me, this was the night another cast member's parent filmed. It just seems to be my luck!

2: Urinetown:

This show was very special to me for several reasons but most importantly it came at the perfect time (I had just been fired for a non-legitimate reason from a job that I hated), was a part I never thought I would get to play, and allowed me to use both my performance and design talents. I'm still incredibly proud of this show and what was done in it. It was also the first show I performed with my wife in!

1: The Retail Song Cycle:

This show has been in development since 2009. That same summer as Urinetown, a fire was awoken in me to tell not only my story, but the story of all of us. The effects that place had on my psyche and spirit I still feel to this day. The way I saw humanity treat itself shaped my philosophies, warped my principles, and nearly succeeded in extinguishing hope. Now hopefully, this will be the year the world gets to see it. It might be vain to choose something I'm attempting to promote, but the way this story has unfolded, changed my life and I am overly proud of the work I've done.

Links to most of these things can be found on my website or Soundcloud page if you're curious.