Day 18

Day 18:

Today is the third day in a row where I will be standing for over twelve hours.   My feet are not fans of this behavior, but every other part of my body seems to love the act of being active.  My mind however is enthralled by the challenges of multitasking and the constant stimulation of creation.  One of the perceived benchmarks of actual adulthood is the honing in on goals and the focus that results. This concentration of endeavors supposedly allows for more free time, more fulfilling work, more hours in the day, distinctions between our work and our home life.  I guess these desires weren't conceived by a person with a mind like mine.  Sometimes my brain even convinces itself that it yearns for simplicity, but cannot handle the consequences of said lifestyle.  Even before my twenties I was a scatterbrained, busy-bodied, overbooked, multitasker who somehow miraculously managed and continues to pull through the perceived chaos.

I have been told throughout my life that if I stopped for a moment and concentrated on one single endeavor, the results would be astounding. Personally, my results have proven otherwise. My best grades were from last minute assignments. My best songs sprung out right before the deadlines.  All of my projects depend on pressure, and the momentary distraction from the problem at hand brought about by other projects breathes fresh air into a subject that can feel stale after days of concentration.

For instance, today on top of my day jobs,  I was working on this blog; book, music, and lyrics for "The Retail Song Cycle"; book, music, and lyrics for two other shows; music and lyrics for a separate musical project with a friend; a new Musical Theatre podcast called "Frivolous"; reading a book; planning the party this blog is counting down to; creating systems for freelance work; watching Gilmore Girls; cooking dinner; and spending time with my wonderful wife.

*Life Hint: the last item on that list is the most important!

When I reread the list above, I myself begin to question my sanity! My biggest problem is that I love learning and always have. I get immense pleasure from knowledge and in depth discussion on subject far and wide.  My interests are eclectic, diverse, and constantly growing. If I come across a subject or item or story that creates that tug my body knows so well, I immediately begin researching. I ponder it from all angles, discern its implications, digest my personal feelings about the subject and cannot seem to get it out of my head until it is complete and cognizant in my mind.  

This lesson is one my twenties and I didn't see eye to eye on until toward the end.  It has taken me a long time and needless to say lots of thinking to be ok with the way my head works.  It's creative and successive and seemingly scattered to everyone but me. After years of torment I finally look at my everywhereness as an advantage.  It's something I took for granted as a child, that institutionalized learning and standardized testing took from me, and that I am eternally grateful for now.

Part of our own uniqueness and our own humanness is how each qualifying individual decision is made, why it was made, and how the decision is executed. Those who know me, know my thinking face well. I just hope that it does some good!