Thursday, March 17, 2016

Day 4:

There's nothing quite like a series of unfortunate events, mistakes, and disappointments to bring you back to reality.

All of my pet peeves boil down to two major principles and I beg your pardon but there will be some language in those points



The most important revelation that has come to me throughout my twenties, besides the fact that no one really knows anything in the grand scheme of things and thy even experts can flounder in their own fields, is that my pet peeves are of course based on my own short comings.  Maybe that's why they bother me so much.  In my perception, I work exceptionally hard everyday just to appear somewhat functional in society: to get done what I need to and to be kind to other humans while doing it.  I mean that's what society is, an "agreed" upon set of rules, regulations, and containment initiatives that attempt to hold millions of desperate, disparate souls into a cohesive, mostly functional, idealized union.  Humanities survival for this long has been nothing short of miraculous under these conditions, especially considering that everyone's individual and personal truths are entirely unique and most wars are fought over less.

The point is, I've been told I should let my pet peeves go and be more forgiving of humanity.  None of us are perfect and that is constantly and consistently proven; however I have found that whenever I depend upon the kindness of strangers, I am left disappointed: the words of this optimist who was ripped into realism seem hallow and flawed.  I know from experience how difficult daily life can be and still somehow manage to try.  Am I completely wrong to at least hope that other people will do the same?  Is my disappointment my own doing because of these optimistic views that I cling to or am I just in my views and the disappointment in people, genuinely earned?

Who can say.  Maybe my thirties will prove more illuminating on this illustrious subject, or maybe the whole endeavor is folly...

It should be noted that this reflection is based on the general public and people that I am forced to deal with at jobs and in daily life, not on my own acquaintances, friends, or family.  I am remarkably lucky and blessed by the people I call my own! This is merely an expression of an overly sensitive, overthinking human who questions everything by nature.

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